and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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