My girlfriend figured out who you are.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
