idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Soap is not a condiment
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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