also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize