Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
