So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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