She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
