i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
