Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
