I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
