DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My vagina just clenched in fear
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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