Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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