go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
