dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
