A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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