I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
