But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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