So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
