I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
