We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
