My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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