I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i think i have two assholes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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