I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize