No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
