hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize