were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
