i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize