Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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