maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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