Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she peed on how many people?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
