you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
