Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
