You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
