North Korea, Best Korea!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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