he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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