I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
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i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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