Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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