My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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