yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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