His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
