A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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