We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
