Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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