his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize