all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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