i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
