I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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