mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
