cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
