No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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