how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
