Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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