idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So much Jack, so little girl.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
