he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
