I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
