haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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