he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
