Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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