I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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