We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
