dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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