can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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